I Choose Passion

“You must give up the life you had planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” – Joseph Campbell

Today I wrote a letter to my fertility clients, letting them know that I decided to discontinue my fertility coaching program. Logically, it seems like a crazy thing to do. I have six years of infertility under my belt – experience I can use in my coaching. I have a wonderful network here in Portland that has been more than happy to send clients my way. It’s been a good source of income for me. I just finished a support group and received positive feedback from all participants. I even started a brand new newsletter titled Body + Mind Fertility Tips.

Why did I do it?

The North Star

Martha Beck, in Finding Your Own North Star uses the North Star as a metaphor for your right life. It’s a fixed point in the sky that can always be used to figure out which way you’re headed. Like the North Star, Martha argues: “the knowledge of your perfect life sits inside you just as the North Star sits in its unalterable spot.”

There are lots of things that can get us going in the opposite direction of our North Star. Approval addiction. Fear of failure. Too much reality TV. These are the obvious ones. But sometimes we get off track spending too much time doing what we do well.

Strengths and Weaknesses

In her new book, The Firestarter Sessions, Danielle LaPorte summarizes something Marcus Buckingham says in The Truth About You:

A strength is not necessarily something you do well, it’s something you do that makes you feel strengthened. By the same token, a weakness is something you do that makes you feel weakened.

When you’re heading in the direction of your “North Star,” there are signs. Ways the authentic self tells you you’re getting warmer. You experience crazy amounts of energy. Your mind is sharp. The hours seem to disappear. You’re in the best mood of your life. It’s the feeling you get when you’re so absorbed in what you’re doing that you lose track of time, when you feel so much creative energy you can hardly sleep. You are inspired. Exhilarated. The ideas keep coming faster than you can write them down. In a word, it’s passion.

Passion or Competence?

The truth is I’m a good fertility coach.

But I feel amazing when I do some things and simply competent when I do other things. I would much rather spend my very limited time in this world doing the things that make me feel amazing. And it is passion, as Danielle LaPorte argues that “will always move you in the direction of your authentic self” or your North Star.

I used to take pride in being the type of person who never quits. Giving up in my mind was failure. Now I realize that my essential self wants me to spend my limited time doing the things that will help me get to my North Star.

It was scary for me to tell my clients and supporters that I would no longer be offering fertility coaching. I felt a little ashamed. Would I be letting them down? Will they think I’m a flake? My inner lizard kicked in too: Why would you let go of a good thing? How are you going to make it as a coach without a niche? All coaches need a niche!


But sometimes the road to happy doesn’t follow a logical or practical path. I’m getting better at recognizing my inner approval addict as the scaredy cat she is and my well-meaning inner lizard as the neurotic she is.

Since “giving up” this piece of my coaching work, I’ve written a ten part, 18 page e-course (and yes it felt like I did it in my sleep), created this awesome youTube video, launched a brand new website, and started two new coaching programs! Feeling pretty good about my decision.

I leave you with this from Danielle LaPorte’s The Firestarter Sessions:

So when do you feel amazing? What activities cause you to feel useful, vital, better-than-before? What lights your fire? When do you have that “there’s more where that came from” feeling? What feels so good and so easy to give that you give it generously? What do you do best–that gives you a rush while you’re doing it?

Happy trails.

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  1. [...] Figure out what you want. (What lights your fire? What brings you passion?) 2) Go for it. (Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.) 3) Watch how you talk to [...]

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